Allow me to rant because I need to get this out somehow.
Lately, I’ve been completely exhausted and entirely not myself. I’m burnt out from life and the increased demands on my time and in both jobs, with no real outlets of energy that don’t stress me out more or make me feel worse. Truth be told, I’m ready to move on from things that once made me so proud and excited because of the increased stress and having “to do more with less,” as one of my superiors put it. I’m not great with asking for help because I often feel guilty for putting it on someone else, or they either can’t or won’t help, so it’s on me anyways. I also overthink everything and tend to over ruminate over if I’m actually a decent person or if that’s just a fictional story.
Ugh, damn it. I’m whining. I don’t like when I complain; I like when I can figure out solutions. Let’s be honest; we’re all hurting and stumbling as we come out of this pandemic and deal with the aftermath/continuances.
I had an appointment earlier this month as part of my required in-person check-in with my eating disorder counsellor (because, hell yeah, I’m still working away on that). Part of that in-person appointment was a medical assessment, including blood pressure. Turns out mine is officially in the “high zone.” That was a reality check, to say the least. Needless to say, Rachael’s got to figure out a way to de-stress and lower that blood pressure back to not-so-alarming levels.
In my true fashion, I had to research ways. And in my also true fashion, I needed to share what I found with others in case it could help them. If I share with others, it gives me a bigger kick in the pants.
Things I’m going to aim to do to recharge my internal battery and also lower my blood pressure:
- Lose 25 lbs (while still being cognizant of my disordered eating tendencies).
- Exercise regularly (or a little more intense I currently do).
- Eat A LOT healthier & reduce sodium (I eat a lot more fast food than I’m happy about as it’s my de-stressor, go figure.
- Limit alcohol (I’ve noticed a decent uptick in my alcohol consumption lately that has me concerned).
- Get more than 5-6 hours of sleep a night. This one is going to be difficult. I normally lie down around 10 on the days when I don’t work until 9:30, but the days when I do, I lie down around 11ish. And then unwind for an hour thinking that helps me de-stress.
- Prioritize things and life. Get better at forward thinking and planning ahead.
- Focus on things I can control as much as I can help it.
- Take time to not do anything at least once a week, and not feel guilty about how not doing something is setting a bad example/poor leadership and not productive at all. That may be the hardest, especially right now when I’m so bogged down with both jobs.
- Go to the walk-in clinic and get the bloodwork done that Dr. Crombie asked me to get. Then book a follow-up with her.
- Practice gratitude. I already do this, but I express my gratitude towards others and rarely receive it back. I love myself; I just need to remind myself more.
Easy does it. I hope to be able to update you on this in a few months with my success or continuance of the project that is known as “Rachael (or insert your name here) getting her (or insert your preferred pronouns here) shit together.”