A little over a year ago, I published a book – The Philanthropic BookAce: My Story (as announced under Another Dream Accomplished). So far, I’ve sold 7 units. Total. What did I expect would happen? To be honest, more. My friends and family that know are all stoked, but I honestly expected that it would have more of a punch.
But looking back, was it my best work? I could have done better. I got caught up in the frenzy of getting my story and my voice out there that it wasn’t really finessed. Case in point, a WO that I respect above most people has offered to provide feedback and she’s been avoiding me ever since despite saying that it opened her eyes. She’s definitely not Acephobic, she just doesn’t know how to tell me the book needs a lot of work LOL. Admittedly, that used to really get to me, the feeling that someone didn’t like what I was producing or doing. Then I grew up a bit and realized that that in and of itself is feedback, and that not everyone is going to like what I write or say and that is OK too. If anyone does happen to want to provide constructive criticism on my book, let me know and I will send you a digital copy.
I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge how long it’s been since I’ve made a regular post here. It’s been a busy and stressful few months, with work, my lack of a personal life and to be honest all the stuff going on that affects us all but is mostly out of our control except to for the parts we can tackle (i.e. being more environmentally friendly, being good people, being good to one another, etc.). I don’t think I’m alone when I say that right now, I’m nervous about what could happen next, and it’s caused me to go to a bit of a darker space. I’ve found myself sometimes too scared to move/function fully and full of anxiety attacks. It’s also caused me to pause, reflect and regroup. However, as scared and nervous as I am, I’m learning to live life a little fuller because I think we’ve all seen how it can be taken for granted. I’m also learning to fight more fully for what I believe in, learn more about things I don’t understand fully, dig deeper into showing myself and fellow persons more compassion and love more freely. I’m choosing goodness in times of darkness, with full realization that this is what’s going on right now and things do need to get addressed quickly before they get darker, and experts/SMEs need to be listened to. My hope is that those conversations happen or are happening.
Is that the best way to articulate it all? Again, probably not, but it’s an explanation of sorts on my silence. I’m going to work on getting more consistent with my posts here. Is my explanation ridiculously vague? Yes, because it’s just too all-consuming for me to truly express all of my fears, hopes and concerns here. I’m also bound a little bit by my careers of choice on what I can or cannot say in an open forum without repercussions based on Codes of Conduct I am bound to (IFYKYK).
Remember, I’m here if you need me. I’m still just as committed to using my voice for good as I always have been, even if I’ve been a little more mute lately. Hug those you love and care for, and again thanks for waiting for me!